Subject: Insults (Page 39)

Joan always cries a lot; her tear ducts must be close to her bladder.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Insults

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

You've got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because if you quote him accurately it's called mudslinging.

(1928 – ) U.S. vice president & senator (Minnesota)
Insults

He would sooner keep hot coals in his mouth than a witticism.

(1810 – 1892) Scottish minister
Insults

He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and even if he caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Beliefs Honesty Insults Lies

He moves like a parody between a majorette girl and Fred Astaire.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Insults

That’s it, laugh it up; you’re making $50 million a year and your poor parents are back in Nebraska eating locusts for dinner.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Insults

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

He doesn't die his hair – he's just prematurely orange.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Appearance Hair Insults

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Insults Places

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Alice Jane Chandler Webster (1876 – 1916) writer & author
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

Why don't you get a haircut… you look like a chrysanthemum?

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults

The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults People

George Zimmerman wants to go to law school; I believe his exact words were, “I’d kill to be a lawyer.”

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Insults

I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

Donald Rumsfeld… love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Emotions Insults

He walked as if he had fouled his small clothes and looks as if he smelt it.

(1722 – 1771) English poet
Insults

She has more talent to the square head than anybody I know.

(1908–1960) British film actress
Acting Entertainment Insults

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Insults

He is just about the nastiest little man I've ever known; he struts sitting down.

Insults

It proves what Harry always said: give the public what they want and they'll come out for it.

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
Death Insults