Subject: Insults (Page 39)

Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted "Bingo!" counted as a yea or a nay.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Age Government Insults Old

A four-hundred-dollar suit on him would look like socks on a rooster.

(1895 – 1960) American politician
Appearance Clothing Insults

The first known case of a rat joining a sinking ship.

Insults

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults Places

If his IQ slips any lower, we’ll have to water him twice a day.

(1944 – 2007) newspaper columnist, political commentator, humorist & author
Insults Intelligence

This enormous dunghill.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Insults

He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.

(1793 – 1863) American politician, statesman & soldier
Animals Characteristics Dogs Insults

What can you do with a man who looks like a female llama surprised when bathing?

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults

Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Insults Misspokements Sports

Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
America Insults Places

Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Intelligence

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

Edward Woodward… Edward Woodward… sounds like a fart in the bath.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Entertainment Insults

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Time

Whatever it was that this actress never had, she still hasn't got it.

(1905 – 1981) journalist, author & film critic
Insults

His approach to the microphone is that of an accused man pleading with a hostile jury.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Entertainment Insults

I've got three words for him: Am. A. Teur.

(1965 – ) film & television actor
Insults

He doesn't die his hair, he bleaches his face.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Insults

His mind is so open – so open that ideas simply pass through it.

(1846 – 1924) British idealist philosopher
Insults Intelligence Mind

In America, only the successful writer is important, in France all writers are important, in England no writer is important, and in Australia you have to explain what a writer is.

(1919 – 2010 ) England author
Communication Insults Places Reading/Writing

The integrity of a hyena and the style of a poison toad.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Insults