Subject: Intelligence (Page 14)

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

The way Calvin’s brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Intelligence Mind

I had amnesia… once or twice.


Health Memory

Vision: Looking farther than you can see.

Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Intelligence People

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Fools Intelligence Wisdom

If an idea's worth having once, it's worth having twice.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Ideas Intelligence

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.

Definitions Wisdom

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Death Future Intelligence Time

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

Characteristics Intelligence Situations Understanding

Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright
Alcohol Food/Drink Speech Wisdom

Baseball is dull only to those with dull minds.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Intelligence People Sports

It doesn’t seem fair, does it Norm … that I should have so much knowledge when there are people in the world that have to go to bed stupid every night.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

It's a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what's between her ears instead of her legs.

(1907 – 2003) American actress of film, stage & television
Insults Intelligence

In a war of ideas it is people who get killed.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Conflict Ideas Intelligence War

1. If the facts are against you, argue the law. 2. If the law is against you, argue the facts. 3. If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

Government Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music