Subject: Intelligence (Page 14)

He don't know shit from peach butter.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

First you forget names, then you forget faces… next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Intelligence Memory Old

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.

(1917 –1986) American journalist
Ideas Intelligence

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Fools

A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Intelligence Memory Past

Cambridge is the kind of place where you can walk into a children’s bookstore and find a self-help section.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Children Intelligence Places

The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb; to be a back, you only have to be dumb.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports Stupidity

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Intelligence Sex

I want to be alone with my thought.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Intelligence Thinking

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Some people are better imagined in one's bed than found there in the morning.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Ideas Sex Situations

Every great idea has a disadvantage equal to or exceeding the greatness of the idea.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

If he had a mind, there was something on it.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Insults Intelligence

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

I tell you boy, the wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

(1962 – ) American ventriloquist & stand-up comedian
Intelligence Stupidity

I recognize my limits, but when I look around I realize I am not living exactly in a world of giants.

(1919 – ) Italian Prime Minister
Characteristics Intelligence

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Intelligence Science/Weather Situations

Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.

Government Ideas Intelligence Law Murphy’s Laws

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence