Subject: Intelligence (Page 17)

We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Intelligence

Idiot: A man who sees your point in an argument but refuses to see your way.

Definitions Intelligence

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

(1875 – 1965) German/French theologian, organist, philosopher, physician & medical missionary
Emotions Happiness Health Intelligence Memory

First you forget names, then you forget faces… next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Intelligence Memory Old

Germs attack people where they're weakest – which is why there are so many head colds.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Health Intelligence

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Intelligence Sex

They couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Intelligence

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Situations

Your head is as empty as a hermit's address book.

(1955 – ) English actor
Intelligence Stupidity

Every day I add to the list of things I refuse to discuss; the wiser the man, the longer the list.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Communication Ideas

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Appearance Body Intelligence

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Beliefs Facts Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Appearance Body Intelligence

Experience teaches you that the man who looks you straight in the eye, particularly if he adds a firm handshake, is hiding something.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Intelligence Wisdom

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence People Stupidity

Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Intelligence Success

I told one player, 'Son, I can't understand it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'

American basketball coach & executive
Basketball Intelligence

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Intelligence Stupidity