Subject: Intelligence (Page 17)

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

(1821 – 1880) French novelist

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

Ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer

I guess the definition of a lunatic is a man surrounded by them.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

Ever since the young men have owned motorcycles, incest has been dying out.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist

If you know you don't know much, you are smarter than most people.

I think the Japanese are smart people – stereotypically so.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian

First you forget names, then you forget faces… next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get into office.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist

He only had one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

Facts are meaningless; you can use facts to prove anything that’s remotely true!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer