Subject: Intelligence (Page 33)

My father was stupid; he worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Intelligence Situations Stupidity

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Alcohol Intelligence People

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Characteristics Intelligence

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Books Communication Reading/Writing Wisdom

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

I've been noticing gravity since I was very young.

(1972 – ) American actress & former model
Intelligence Science/Weather

Experts in advanced countries underestimate by a factor of 2 to 4 the ability of people in underdeveloped countries to do anything technical.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places

His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Insults Intelligence Mind

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks… mostly sits.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Beliefs Intelligence

Education: The path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Intelligence

In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Government Politics Stupidity

He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Intelligence Language Mind

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Fools Intelligence

I’m actually really intelligent; and I’m blonde, which is like… the trifecta.

comedian
Appearance Intelligence

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Intelligence Stupidity

Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Body Mind Problems

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.

(1917 –1986) American journalist
Ideas Intelligence

You’ve heard of people living in a fool’s paradise? … well, Leonora has a duplex there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Fools Insults

If I ever saw bat shit, I’d be like, ‘that’s crazy.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Intelligence Situations