Subject: Intelligence (Page 36)

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

(1919 – ) American poet, painter & liberal activist
Intelligence Mind

Just imagine what he’ll be like when senility kicks in… if it hasn’t already.

English former football player & manager
Health Intelligence Mind Misspokements

Beauty times brains equals a constant.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

He only had one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Ideas Insults Intelligence

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: Nope.
Diane: The fat, braying ass would.

(1949 – ) American actress
Intelligence TV/Movie Quotes

I have a memory like an elephant; in fact, elephants often consult me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Animals Intelligence Memory

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

Ideas Intelligence

I see the pain on your face when you say the word intellectual, because it has so many syllables in it.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Insults Intelligence

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten; they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

(1930 – 1977) German teacher
Intelligence People

It doesn't take rocket appliances.

Intelligence Malaprops

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Parents Self Understanding

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.

(1917 –1986) American journalist
Ideas Intelligence

The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the post long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.

Fools Love Murphy’s Laws

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Intelligence People

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Autos Intelligence Stupidity Things

I can read minds but, it’s pointless cause I’m illiterate.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

In mathematics you don't understand things… you just get used to them.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Science/Weather Understanding