Subject: Marriage

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil; she wants to see what she is getting.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a successful woman is one who can find such a man.

(1921 – 1995) American actress
Husbands Marriage Wives

Love and marriage go together like angel cake and anthrax.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Emotions Love Marriage

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Husbands Marriage Sleep

Many a man's lost his best friend by marrying her.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Emotions Happiness Love Marriage Money Wealth

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

(1954 – ) Indian Professor of Journalism
Husbands Marriage Wives

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

(1952 – ) comedian
Marriage People Self

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.

(1926 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Lockhorns)
Communication Divorce Marriage Speech Wives

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

(1913 – 1989) American radio, television, film & voice actor
Marriage Success Wives

I was married by a judge… I should have asked for a jury.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

(1958 – ) screenwriter, film director & actor
Marriage

They start with all that sucking and blowing and in the end you lose your house.

Marriage

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

(1788 – 1860) German philosopher
Marriage

With history one an never be certain, but I think I can safely say that Aristotle Onassis would not have married Mrs. Khrushchev.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Marriage

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

(1533 – 1592) French writer
Marriage

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Marriage