Subject: Marriage

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

(1954 – ) Indian Professor of Journalism
Husbands Marriage Wives

It’s really hard being a single mom nowadays – which is why I don’t have children.

American-Mexican stand-up comedian & actress
Children Family Marriage Mothers

The other day my wife asked me to take her someplace real expensive to eat, so I took her to the airport.

stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Marriage Wives

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Divorce Marriage

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me… no one showed up.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Divorce Family Marriage Parents

You want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Girlfriends Marriage Relationships Speech

After five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Divorce Marriage

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Marriage

At every party, there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t; the trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Marriage

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Marriage People Women

Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Life Marriage Wives

The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women; it's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Marriage

Once in a restaurant I made a toast to her… “The best woman a man ever had”… the waiter joined me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Wives

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Husbands Marriage Self Wives

My grandmother buried three husbands… and two of them were only napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Marriage Relationships

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house; I never slept alone until after I was married.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Marriage Situations Sleep

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

A fool and his money are soon married.

(1862 – 1942) American author & poet
Fools Intelligence Marriage

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.

(1982 – ) American author
Marriage Wives

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

(1924 – ) 39th U.S. president & humanitarian
Marriage Problems Wives