Subject: Marriage (Page 17)

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Divorce Marriage

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the happy wish to be married, the married wish to be dead.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Marriage People Wealth

Marriage is like a train that makes intermittent stops at children, new house, new job, new car and cruises, just to keep the trip interesting.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Marriage

I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.

(1925 – 2010) American film actor
Age Marriage Wives

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Conflict Marriage War

Love and marriage go together like angel cake and anthrax.

(1959 – ) English writer & columnist
Emotions Love Marriage

Marriage is like a row boat: it fits two, it doesn’t work on auto-pilot and it’s very difficult to have sex in.

(1964 – ) American comedian
Marriage Sex

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Marriage

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

(1780 – 1832) English cleric, writer & collector
Marriage

One man's folly is another man's wife.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People Wives

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

How it Works: The Wife

Book Titles Marriage Wives

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands… but English women only hope to find in their butlers.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
America Characteristics England Husbands Women

The only person who listens to both sides of a husband and wife argument is the woman in the next apartment.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Marriage

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Marriage

If you would like to get your wife’s attention – just look comfortable!.

Marriage Wives

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

A redneck died and left his entire fortune to his beloved wife… she couldn’t touch it until she was fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Death Marriage People Rednecks