Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 53)

It's cold enough to hang meat in here.

Miscellaneous

I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that says guilty or not guilty for you, as a sort of courtesy.

Miscellaneous

In terms of instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Miscellaneous

… I hadn’t the heart to touch my breakfast; I told Jeeves to drink it himself.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Miscellaneous

He wuz smilin' like a rat eatin onions.

Miscellaneous

Get the short end of the stick

Miscellaneous

It’s got tits or tires, you’re gonna have trouble with it.

Miscellaneous

I’ll never forget the time that skunk got under the house and Grandpa went under to get him…. boy, it smelled for months… you know, that was the last time we ever saw Grandpa.

Miscellaneous

He’s got molasses in his britches.

Miscellaneous

Eddie: Mother, are you still on the computer?

Gran: Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can’t get out.

(1925 – ) English actress
Miscellaneous

There is hope as long as your fishing-line is in the water.

Miscellaneous Proverbs

It’s funny, but when you look at an old man, then you look at a photo of him when he was a young man, then you look at the old man, then the photo, back and forth, pretty soon you’ll do whatever anybody tells you to.

Miscellaneous

Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!

Miscellaneous

“I’ve grown fat on the contents of charity packages,” said Tom carefully.

Miscellaneous

Don’t pay it no never mind.

Miscellaneous

It's so hot that it makes me want to take off my skin and sit in my bones.

Miscellaneous

Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we’re not ready; but maybe they’ll change their tune after a little torture.

Miscellaneous

Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pine cone? … that way, he learns that ‘wishing’ isn’t going to save our national forests.

Miscellaneous

I am going to jerk a knot in your tail.

Miscellaneous

Wilder than a March hare

Miscellaneous

He’s as tough as a boot.

Miscellaneous