Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 6)

Plum tuckered

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Does a snake have hips?

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He’d have to get smarter… just to be stupid.

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He’s dumber than a day old pig.

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Plantation dog

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A face like a robber’s dog!

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If you’re robbing a bank and you’re pants fall down, I think it’s okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

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I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died; ‘What are you doing here with that hammer?’

(1968 – ) English comedian & actor
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His brain rolls around in his head like a mustard seed in a five gallon bucket.

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Caught with your pants down.

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If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people do; instead, try to get some weeding done, because you’d really be surprised

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Poor as gully dirt

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When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

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I’m just guessing, but probably one of the early signs that your radarscope is wearing out is something I call “image fuzz-out,” but I’ve never even seen a radarscope, so I wouldn’t totally go by what I’ve just said here.

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Took a heart burnin'

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Rest your features

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Peter Marshall: Dale Evans recently revealed the three secrets behind her happy marriage with Roy Rogers. Now listen carefully… "We work together, we pray together and we're darn good…" What?

Paul Lynde: In the saddle.

(1926 – 1982) American comedian & actor
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Out of soap

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It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly… but also, check out his Adam’s apple!

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It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.

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She’s so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.

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