Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 6)

You couldn’t catch a catfish in a coffee cup.

Miscellaneous

Never laugh at a man, until you have walked a mile in his shoes; then you are a mile away, and you have his shoes.

Miscellaneous

My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Miscellaneous

Big hat, no cattle

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Instead of having “answers” on a math test, they should just call them “impressions,” and if you got a different “impression,” so what, can’t we all be brothers?

Miscellaneous

He could sell firewood in hell.

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I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

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That boy wouldn’t work in a pie factory, afraid he’d get full and have to quit.

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He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.

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If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of Conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good idea to say, “I swallowed it… so sue me.”

Miscellaneous

During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were ‘just going down to the corner.’

Miscellaneous

You're a dime holdin’ up a dollar.

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I do all I can… and the easy ones twice.

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Where you stay?

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The ox is in the ditch.

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Girlfriend Calling You Fat? You Probably Are. Ride Bike

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If You’re Gonna Do Me Wrong, Do It Right

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Something tells me that the first mousetrap wasn’t designed to catch mice at all, but to protect little cheese “gems” from burglars.

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The best way to behave is to misbehave.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
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Don’t let the tail wag the dog.

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Purty as a picture

Miscellaneous