Subject: Miscellaneous (Page 8)

I’m as anxious as a one-eyed cat watching two rat holes.

Miscellaneous

Dumber 'n a sack of wet mice

Miscellaneous

Bless your pea-pickin' heart.

Miscellaneous

Just as irrigation is the lifeblood of the Southwest, lifeblood is the soup of cannibals.

Miscellaneous

It’s easy to sit and scoff at an old man’s folly… but also, check out his Adam’s apple!

Miscellaneous

If I tell you that rooster dips snuff, you better check under his wing for the can.

Miscellaneous

He lives in your neck of the woods.

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I feel lower than a snake in snowshoes.

Miscellaneous

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past… one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

(1930 – 2007) English comedian & nightclub owner
Miscellaneous Wordplay

He's country as a bowl of grits.

Miscellaneous

Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

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I'll knock you into the middle of next week lookin' both ways for Sunday.

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Don't sneeze behind a skittish horse.

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But what if dolphins don't want to swim with retarded children?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Miscellaneous

Fix your plate.

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I’m so mad I could eat barbed wire and spit nails.

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Happier than a two peckerd billy goat.

Miscellaneous

In this adventure Harry will do battle with giant lizards, face the attack of the Death Eaters, and in perhaps the most difficult task of all for a 14-year-old, ask a girl to be his date at the Yule Ball.

Miscellaneous

… more than Carter’s got pills.

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I hope no one is allergic to nuts… because I like to rest mine on the table.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Miscellaneous

Dumber than a barrel of hair

Miscellaneous