Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Misspokements
(Page 12)
Davis fouls out to third in fair territory.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now.
Jack Burnicle
motor racing commentator
Auto racing
Misspokements
Sports
On racer Colin Edwards' tire choice
I sure hope you’re staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Tom.
Tom Nissalke
basketball coach
Misspokements
Sports
When asked how he pronounced his name
I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.
Mark Viduka
Australian football player
Football
Misspokements
Sports
That’s what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped ’em out of Manhattan.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
I’ve never known a Groundhog Day like this and I’ll have to go and see the film to find out what it’s all about.
David Pleat
English football player, manager & sports commentator
Misspokements
Situations
Groundhog Day
You do the policy, I'll do the politics.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government
Misspokements
Politics
They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
Gracie Allen
(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Misspokements
Mixed metaphors
Joan of Arc
Mike Andrews' limits are limitless.
Danny Ozark
American baseball manager
Misspokements
There’s a strong criminal
relement
up there.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Element
Women
Liberteens
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Libertarians
Grubb goes back, back… he’s under the warning track and makes the play.
Jerry Coleman
(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball
Misspokements
Sports
Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.
David Coleman
(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs
Misspokements
Sports
Running
Track
I’m willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Characteristics
Misspokements
Oxymorons
Right
Wrong
We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.
Vlade Divac
professional basketball player
Age
Body
Intelligence
Misspokements
Sports
Weight
It really kind of
infilterates the no-strils.
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Misspokements
TV/Movie Quotes
Infiltrates the nostrils
Play some Picasso.
Chris Morris
professional basketball player
Misspokements
Sports
To a piano player at a hotel bar while trying to impress a date
Why do you always insist on playing while I’m trying to conduct?
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment
Misspokements
Music
Conducting
We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America
Education
Intelligence
Misspokements
Places
World
Don Quixote would understand golf. It is the impossible dream.
Jim Murray
(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf
Misspokements
Sports
Don Quixote
Page 12 of 53
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