Subject: Money (Page 13)

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Life Wealth Work

I didn’t have sex at all, not a scrap til I was 67… and that was cause I had no small change for the window cleaner.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Money Sex

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

(1934 – ) comedian
Money Poverty

Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich.

(1763 – 1848) German-American, first multi-millionaire in the U.S.
Money People Wealth

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Money Poverty

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

(1929 – 1933) 31st U.S. president, humanitarian
Money

I’m opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money Opinion Wealth

In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

Money Murphy’s Laws

It's only when the tide goes out that you discover who's been swimming naked.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Clothing Money

No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small fortune in the exchange.

Family Money Murphy’s Laws Relationships

If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Baseball Children Money Sports Wealth

Keep up with the Grabowskis… you'll never make enough to keep up with the Joneses.

Money Murphy’s Laws

I got a $290 parking ticket today… my car only cost $240.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Autos Money Things

Change is inevitable… except from vending machines.

Money Signs

Markets can remain irrational a lot longer than you and I can remain solvent.

American financial analyst & commentator
Money

My wife donates money to the homeless and I donate money to the topless.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Money Wives

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Art Money People