Subject: Money (Page 22)

Always Broke? Stop Living Payday To Payday

Headlines Money

The wages of sin are unreported.

Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes

Vacation: Two weeks on the sunny sands – and the rest of the year on the financial rocks.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Activities Money Places Time

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity; that's how rich I want to be.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Money Wealth

I made my money the old fashioned way; I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.

(1919 – 1990) publisher & author
Money

When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all the other coins will roll out of sight.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

My church accepts all denominations – fivers, tenners, twenties.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs Money

So far, I haven’t heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Death Life Money

They live in a beautiful apartment overlooking their rent.

Money Situations Things

… the only California houses on the market for less than a million dollars are those on fire… these generally go for six hundred thousand.

Money Places

If you’re wondering if you have enough money to take the family out to eat tonight, you don’t.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
Money

We were poor… if I wasn’t a boy, I wouldn’t have had nothing to play with.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Money Poverty Self

There is no direct relationship between the quality of an educational program and its cost.

Education Money Murphy’s Laws

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language Money

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.

(1918 – 1986) American lyricist
Money People Women

A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Family Money Relationships

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.

(1924 – 1997) Dutch-American artist
Money Poverty Time

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Definitions Money

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex