Subject: Money (Page 28)

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

If I hadn’t my debts I shouldn’t have anything to think about.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money

I got a $290 parking ticket today… my car only cost $240.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Autos Money Things

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Government Money Taxes

Nobody ever said that capitalism guarantees profit.

(1947 – ) American economist
Government Money

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return; it's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Characteristics Honesty Money

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals Divorce Marriage Money

When we played, World Series checks meant something; now all they do is screw up your taxes.

American baseball pitcher & announcer
Baseball Money Sports

Financial Wizard: A person who can earn money faster than the family can spend it.

Definitions Money

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

Money isn’t everything as long as you have enough.

Money Murphy’s Laws

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Money Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Health Money

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Money

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Death Doctors Health Money

She makes pancakes so thin they’ve got just one side to them.

Expressions Food/Drink Frugal Money

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

(1934 – ) comedian
Money Poverty

When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Money Poverty Self

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money Situations

There is only one word for aid that is genuinely without strings, and that word is blackmail.

(1902 – 1977) Scottish journalist & author
Money