Subject: Money (Page 28)

You can never be too skinny or too rich.

(1915 – 1978) socialite
Appearance Body Wealth

Does [life] begin at conception, or does it begin when the baby is an embryo? … anybody with children knows [it] don’t begin ’til they can pay their own damn bills.

(1963 – ) American actor & stand-up comedian
Children Family Money

Saving is a very fine thing; especially when your parents have done it for you.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Money

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money People

If John Kerry had a dollar for every time he bragged about serving in Vietnam… oh wait, he does!

(1961 – ) American lawyer, political commentator, author & syndicated columnist
Money

At the funeral, everyone said, 'What a shame, he died penniless;' I don't know — to me that sounds like perfect timing on a hell of a budget.

American comedian
Death Money Poverty

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

American entrepreneur & author
Autos Money Things

Business: The art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence.

American author
Money

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Emotions Money Old

A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches – two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Money Poverty

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Mistakes Money

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.

(1919 – 1997) American businessman
Money

The difference between a little money and no money at all is enormous… and the difference between a little money and an enormous amount of money is very slight.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Money

Lethargy bordering on sloth remains the cornerstone of our investment style.

(1930 – ) financier & investment businessman
Money

Debt means you had more fun than you were supposed to.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Money

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

Lawyers Money

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports