Subject: Money (Page 30)

If I was earning £1 a race, I'd still be a racing driver – just a poor one.

British auto racer
Auto racing Money Sports

I had to recently move back home, because my mom was having trouble paying both our rents.

Actress & comedian
Money Situations

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian
Marriage Money Shopping Wives

No matter how often you trade dinner or other invitations with in-laws, you will lose a small fortune in the exchange.

Family Money Murphy’s Laws Relationships

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Money Poverty Time

Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Government Money Taxes

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive.

(1937 – 2000) science fiction author
Future Money Past Time

The girl who marries for money may find herself in debt for life.

writer
Marriage Money

It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, as long as you’ve got money.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Money

I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for three-thousand dollars; that bothered my dad at the time because he didn’t have that kind of dough… but he eventually scraped it up.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Money Sports

Are you buying or selling?

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
Money Situations

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

I was once so broke I forgot whether you cut steak with a knife or drank it with a spoon.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Money Poverty

It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Money

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?… try spelling Evian backward.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money People

A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Money

I don’t mind the high price of stardom, I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Money Sports Success

Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite — but they all worship money.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Money

A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck.

(1908 – 1972) American politician & civil rights leader
Money

I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything would be perfect.

(1933 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Money Sports

My mom bought cookies… and they were never the good cookies; it was always the pack of 1000 that said: 'Cookies.'

comedian
Food/Drink Money Poverty