Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 33)

View All Murphys Laws

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Success

If you explain it so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Merely because the group is in formation does not mean that the group is on the right course.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws

The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank. The really big chunks always rise to the top.

Murphy’s Laws

Any program will expand to fill available memory.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Anything, no matter how bad, will sound good if played at a very high volume for a short time.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

How to locate the slow-moving traffic lane or check-out land: Get in it.

Murphy’s Laws

Badness comes in waves.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws

The first sample is always the best.

Murphy’s Laws

No matter how many hot dogs you consume at home, they always taste better at the ball park.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

The time of departure will be delayed by the square of the number of people involved.

Murphy’s Laws People Time

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Murphy’s Laws

The first pull on the cord ALWAYS sends the drapes in the wrong direction.

Murphy’s Laws Things

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
1. When you’re ready for them. 2. When you’re not ready for them.

Military Murphy’s Laws

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

No matter what the experiment’s result, there will always be someone eager to: (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe it supports his own pet theory.

Murphy’s Laws

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

Children should be heard, not obscene.

Children Murphy’s Laws

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather