Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 36)

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

Goulden's Axiom of the Bouncing Can

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Situations

When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

Beauregard's Law

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

Lavia's Law of Tennis

Games Murphy’s Laws Sports Tennis

The higher the “higher-ups“ are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

Deadline-Dan's Demo Demonstration

Murphy’s Laws People Success Demonstrations Importance

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

Gove's Law of Canapés

Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Calories Standing

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Ground Rule For Laboratory Workers

Murphy’s Laws Work Neatness

When in the course of human affairs – your spouse always finds out.

Lazar's Law

Husbands Marriage Murphy’s Laws Wives

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

Young's Law

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Discoveries

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Repairman's Laws

Murphy’s Laws Things Work Distance Tools

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

Cooke's Law

Murphy’s Laws Situations Decisions Information

The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.

Sixth Law of Office Murphology

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems Responsibility

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Law of Research

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work Research Theories

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment, but compose immediately after.

Aunt Emmie’s Second Law

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech From Owen Elliott’s Aunt Emmie

McGurk's Law

Murphy’s Laws Confusion Improbable events

The most interesting results happen only once.

Tenenbaum's Law of Replicability

Murphy’s Laws Results

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

Heid's Law of Lines

Murphy’s Laws Lines

The fact that you do not know the answer does not meant that someone else does.

Steiner's Maxim

Murphy’s Laws People Answers

Any object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.

Mickelson's Law of Falling Objects

Murphy’s Laws Things Hiding

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Second Law of Final Exams

Education Murphy’s Laws School Exams

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 36)

If you're coasting, you're going downhill.

No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.

If you drop a full can of beer, and remember to rap the top sharply with your knuckle prior to opening, the ensuing gush of foam will be between 89 and 94 percent of the volume that would splatter you if you didn't do a damned thing and went ahead and pulled the top immediately.

When you're up to your nose, keep your mouth shut.

A mediocre player will sink to the level of his or her opposition.

The higher the “higher-ups“ are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

When in the course of human affairs – your spouse always finds out.

All great discoveries are made by mistake

Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake.

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.

The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment, but compose immediately after.

McGurk's Law

The most interesting results happen only once.

No matter how early you arrive, someone else is in line first.

The fact that you do not know the answer does not meant that someone else does.

Any object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.