Murphy’s Laws | Just-One-Liners.com

Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 54)

A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a small mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.

Matsch's Maxim

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

Butler's Law of Progress

Money Murphy’s Laws Income Progress

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

Putt's Law

Murphy’s Laws People Science/Weather Technology

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Second Law of Office Murphology

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Things Office machines

Halitosis is better than no breath at all.

Freeman's Law

Murphy’s Laws Halitosis

One good turn gets most of the blanket.

Ellenberg's Theory

Communication Murphy’s Laws Blankets

Hot glass looks the same as cold glass.

Dominic Cirino's Law of Burnt Fingers

Murphy’s Laws Glass Temperature

A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes only twice as long.

Golub's Second Law of Computerdom

Murphy’s Laws Time Planning

If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Law of Reruns

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

Competence always contains the seed of incompetence.

Peter's Law of Evolution

Murphy’s Laws Competency

Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it’s always farther away.

Springer’s Law

Murphy’s Laws People Sherwood Springer

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Dooley's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Trust

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

A Murphy's Military Law

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws Ammunition

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

Knox's Principle of Star Quality

Failure Murphy’s Laws Sports Success

Twitter makes you like people you don’t know, and Facebook makes you hate people you do.

Shawn’s Observation

Murphy’s Laws Things Shawn Holland Twitter

To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Principle of Displaced Hassle

Murphy’s Laws Problems Bureaucracy

Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

Newman's Law

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Hypocrisy Society

The direction of take-off will be opposite that of the final destination.

Hollenbeck's Law

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Directions

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Park's Law of Insurance Rates and Taxes

Government Money Murphy’s Laws Taxes Prices

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Boyle’s Eleventh Law

Murphy’s Laws Things Performance

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Subject: Murphy’s Laws (Page 54)

Confusion creates jobs.

A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a small mountain: everything appears small to him and he appears small to everybody.

All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand.

Office machines that function perfectly during normal business hours will break down when you return at night to use them for personal business.

Halitosis is better than no breath at all.

One good turn gets most of the blanket.

Hot glass looks the same as cold glass.

A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes only twice as long.

If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.

Competence always contains the seed of incompetence.

Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it’s always farther away.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

Whenever a superstar is traded to your favorite team, he fades. Whenever your team trades away a useless no-name, he immediately rises to stardom.

Twitter makes you like people you don’t know, and Facebook makes you hate people you do.

To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Hypocrisy is the Vaseline of social intercourse.

The direction of take-off will be opposite that of the final destination.

Whatever goes us, stays up.

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.