Subject: People (Page 40)

So many men, so little time.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Time

My boyfriend's kids are half-Swedish, half-Norwegian: "They're see-through."

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Characteristics People Places

First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Men People Places

Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children Conflict People

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.

(1900 – 1977) American novelist, essayist & autobiographer
Men People Sex Women

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Men People Relationships Women

The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

You might be a redneck if… you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death People Self Sex

There were three things that Chico was always on – a phone, a horse, or a broad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People

I'm not saying older women are sluttier; I'm just saying, an older woman isn't gonna make you wait 'til three in the morning 'cause she's got shit to do the next day.

American comedian
Age Old People Sex Women

I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence People Women

A consultant is a person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend the consulting contract.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
People

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Emotions Laughter People

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

American comedian
Animals Dogs Self

A bunch of bong-smoking, America-bashing, flag-burning, yoga-posing, incense-burning, dolphin-saving, salmon-eating hypocrites; these are the sensitive, liberal people who are always yelling about people's freedom of speech and expression, unless you happen to say something that pisses them off.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Government People Politics

In any dealings with a collective body of people, the people will always be more tacky than originally expected.

Murphy’s Laws People

Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind.

Men Money People Women

Telephone psychics are better at making fortunes than at reading them.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Money People

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.

(1863 – 1923) French playwright
Beliefs Conflict Opinion People

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Children Family Health Men Women