Subject: Places » America (Page 8)

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Intelligence Language Military Places

The greatest American superstition is belief in facts.

(1880 – 1946) Baltic German philosopher
America Beliefs Facts Places

He’s the first president to discover that what the American people want is to be left alone.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Places

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

We are for the underdog, no matter how much of a dog he is.

(1898 – 1991) U.S. senator (Kentucky) & Major League Baseball commissioner
America Misspokements People Places

In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism.

(1918 – 1996) U.S. vice president & politician
America Places

America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
America Places

We’re the greatest country on Earth except when it comes to getting shit done.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
America Places

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
America Places

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Golf Government People Sports Taxes

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
America Communication Reading/Writing

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show; when you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
America Places

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
America Insults People

Americans always try to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
America People Places

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

America Murphy’s Laws Places

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everyone and still nobody likes him.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
America Government Places

America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.

(1970 – ) American actor, writer & carpenter
America Places TV/Movie Quotes

In America, your work determines your marks; in Soviet Russia, Marx determines your work!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places