Subject: Places » New York City (Page 2)

I saw a license plate yesterday that said 'I Miss New York,' so I smashed their window and stole their radio.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian

Running for senator in New York is like bobbing for piranhas.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

(1925 – 2005) television host

I just flew in from New York City, and boy is my middle finger tired.

comedian

I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach

The only cultural advantage L.A. has over New York is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter

It'll be a great place if they ever finish it.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers… and he hates New York.


“New York, New York” – so good they named it twice.

(1947 – ) American singer-songwriter

I really don't like living there; I have to for health reasons; I'm very paranoid, and New York's the only place where my fears are justified.

American comedian

You could go out at four in the morning, after a nuclear bomb destroys the entire eastern seaboard, and the Triborough Bridge would be jammed.

(1960 – ) American comedian

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.

American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

A city where everyone mutinies but no one deserts.

(1885 –1974) American cartoonist, humor writer & radio personality

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

1. Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. 2. A free agent is anything but. 3. Whatever can go to New York will..

Today, I bought a pastrami sandwich: $13.75; walked back out in the street – genuine Rolex watch: six bucks.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else; the same with good manners.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author