Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Places
(Page 18)
Washington is a much better place if you are asking questions rather than answering them.
Dean's Law of the District of Columbia
Murphy’s Laws
Places
Questions
Washington
'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America
Conflict
War
Family business
Presidents Bush
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.
Norman Schwartzkopf
(1934 – 2012) American army general
Conflict
Places
War
France
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.
Rita Mae Brown
1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Men
People
Places
World
Side saddle
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into [a store] and punched someone in the face.
Jeremy Limb
English musician, actor, writer & comedian
Conflict
Fights
Places
World
I bet
The Walking Dead
gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f••king window, am I right?
Bill Burr
(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Places
Montana
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance.
Phyllis Diller
(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance
Places
Beauty parlor
We do not go in for philosophy in this country… we have our own system… it’s called wondering.
Al Murray
(1968 – ) English comedian & television personality
England
Places
Philosophy
It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
Bob Hope
(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government
Money
Places
Politics
Washington
For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
Robert Benchley
(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
America
Places
Waiting
I come from Calcutta: in the UK you drive on the left of the road, in Calcutta we drive on what is left of the road.
Papa CJ
Indian comedian
Activities
Driving
Places
England
India
In New York every rainbow has an empty pot of gold at the end with a chalk outline of a dead leprechaun.
Bob Sarlatte
American radio and television personality, comedian & speaker
Crime
New York City
Places
Leprechauns
Pot of gold
I am going to hell and I'm looking forward to it… I'll finally get to meet Madonna.
Kathleen Madigan
(1965 – ) American comedian
Death
Insults
Places
Hell
Madonna
Home is the girl's prison and the woman's workhouse.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Places
Home
In Los Angeles, by the time you’re 35, you’re older than most of the buildings.
Nora Ephron
(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Age
Old
Places
Los Angeles
In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations – it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.
J. Stuart Keate
(1913 – 1987) Canadian journalist
Canada
Places
The Irish people do not gladly suffer common sense.
Oliver Joseph St John Gogarty
(1878 – 1957) Irish poet, author, athlete & politician
Intelligence
People
Places
Common sense
Ireland
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
Dan Quayle
(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication
Language
Misspokements
Places
Latin
Latin America
We have a President, perhaps for the very first time since the founding of our republic, who doesn’t appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known.
Sarah Palin
(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
America
Misspokements
If you persecute somebody just because they might look a little different, then you are no better than our country's founding fathers.
David Feldman
American comedian & writer
America
Characteristics
Places
Founding fathers
Persecution
I came from a real tough neighborhood; in the local restaurant I sat down and had broken leg of lamb.
Rodney Dangerfield
(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Food/Drink
Places
Neighborhood
Page 18 of 46
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