Subject: Places (Page 18)

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment Insults Music Places

The District of Columbia is a territory hounded on all sides by the United States of America.

(1909 – 1944) satiric author
Places

The old English belief that if a thing is unpleasant it is automatically good for you.

(1908 – 1986) English cartoonist, author, art critic & stage designer
England Places

President Bush has just one question for the American voters: is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were 4 years ago?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
America Money

I went to Moscow once; it was so cold at night one guy fell out of bed and broke his pajamas.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold Places Science/Weather

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Places

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Places

When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.

American author
People Places

To the French, lying is simply talking.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Lies People Places

I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Canada Places

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Places World

It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.


People Places

I got wasted last night, and I hit an animal with my car… in the lobby of Caesar's Palace.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Animals Entertainment Places

The more he looked inside the more Piglet wasn’t there.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Places Situations

In the city, a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Death Entertainment Places

It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Happiness Places

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Canadians do not like heroes, and so they do not have them.

(1912 – 1995) Canadian historical writer, essayist & literary critic
People Places

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Work

Do you know how short you have to be to have a Napoleon complex in North Korea?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Places