Subject: Places (Page 24)

The all-night drugstore closed at noon.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Places

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

Places Situations World

The Irish… don’t care for clean government; they want Irish government.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Government People Places

I like American women; they do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing… like showering.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
Activities Places Sex

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

(1942 – ) British travel writer & novelist
Murphy’s Laws Places

I’m so American that I’m barely informed enough to have an opinion, but entitled enough to yell about it.

American comedian
America Places

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.

(1924 – 2014) American actress & model
Divorce Hollywood Marriage Places

1. Nothing is ever so bad it can't be made worse by firing the coach. 2. A free agent is anything but. 3. Whatever can go to New York will..

Activities Murphy’s Laws New York City Places Sports

If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Places

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Intelligence New York City Places

No one ever went broke in Hollywood underestimating the intelligence of the public.

(1883 – 1963) American writer & hostess
Hollywood Intelligence People Places

The only place in the world where a man can get stabbed in the back while climbing a ladder.

(1897-1962) American writer
Hollywood Insults Places

I get to go to lots of overseas places… like Canada.

(1981 – ) American singer
Intelligence Misspokements Places

Drug Kingpin Amado Fuentes died from 9 hours of liposuction and plastic surgery – or, as it's commonly known here in Beverly Hills, natural causes.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Death Health Places

The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women.

Appearance Body Murphy’s Laws Places Women World

Go to L.A. – they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

American stand-up comedian
Conflict People Places

Dick Cheney says he loves California… out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict People Places

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Marriage Problems Sex World

They've great respect for the dead in Hollywood, but none for the living.

(1909 – 1959) Australian-born American actor
Characteristics Hollywood Places

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

There is no question that there is an unseen world; the problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Places