Subject: Places (Page 43)

The Devil himself had probably re-designed Hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.

(1928 – ) English author
Places

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Places World

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
America Elections/Voting Government Places

We know Jesus can’t have been English; he is always wearing sandals, but never with socks.

(1958 – 2006) English radio performer, stand-up comic & writer
Appearance England Places

Florida: God's waiting room.

Definitions Places

I’ve only been a New Yorker for ten years but the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
New York City People Places

One reason that Finland produces such great runners is that back home it costs $2.40 for gas.

Finnish marathon runner
Places Sports

Boy George is all England needs – another queen who can't dress.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

The Middle Eastern states aren’t nations, they’re quarrels with borders.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Conflict Fights Places

Welcome to Hell… here's your accordion.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Places

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Government Money Places

In Milan, traffic lights are instructions; in Rome, they are suggestions; in Naples, they are Christmas decorations.

(1942 – ) Italian politician
Places

We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Animals Places

America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.

American folksinger & activist
America Places

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Health Places

I am going to hell and I'm looking forward to it… I'll finally get to meet Madonna.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Death Insults Places

Canada is an entire country named Doug.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Canada Places

I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Canada Places

Terrible tragedy in the South Seas… three million people trapped alive!

(1947 – ) New Zealand cartoonist
Places