Subject: Problems (Page 12)

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Life Problems

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Accidents Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

What a pity human beings can't exchange problems; everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.

(1918 - 2002) American author
People Problems

If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Problems

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Doctors Health Mistakes

The only time you come up with a great solution is after somebody else has solved the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Failure God Success

The most delicate component will be dropped.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

If you pick up a chunk of broken concrete and try to pitch it into an adjacent lot, it will hit a tree limb and come down right on the driver’s side of your car windshield.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.

Lerman's Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Failure Problems Things

The toughest call an umpire has to make is not the half-swing; the toughest call is throwing a guy out of the game after you blew the hell out of the play.

American baseball umpire
Baseball Mistakes Problems Sports

We still… cannot catch Osama bin Laden, but we nailed Martha Stewart's ass to the wall.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Failure Government Law People

How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?

cartoon character, created by Hank Ketcham (1920 – 2001)
Problems Situations

The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

I love when problems have simple solutions: cold medicine… umbrellas… condoms… tax incentives & subsidies attracting favored industries.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Problems

When anything is used to its full potential, it will break.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Philosophy: Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Problems