Subject: Problems (Page 21)

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

The problem-solving process will always break down at the point at which it is possible to determine who caused the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Problems

I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one.

(1841 – 1918) publisher of the New York Herald
Mistakes Problems

The chances of solving a problem decline the closer one gets to finding out who was the cause of the problem.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

It will always break just when you need it the most.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Whatever plan one makes, there is a hidden difficulty somewhere.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

Whenever you decide to take the kids home, it is always five minutes earlier that they break into fights, tears, or hysteria.

Children Murphy’s Laws Problems Time

I am the rock between me and the hard place.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
People Problems Self

Aren’t I lucky, to have survived so much bad luck.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life Problems

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Emotions Failure Friends

When one is trying to be elegant and sophisticated, one won't.

,
Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

The degree of failure is in direct proportion to the effort expended and to the need for success.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success

A conference is just an admission that you want somebody to join you in your troubles.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
People Problems

He's a man who was a failure until he was 40 years old, which looks really good on your resume – if you're a comic.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Failure Problems

To a quick question, give a slow answer.

Problems

1. Anyone else who can be blamed should be blamed.
2. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong faster with computers.
3. Whenever a computer can be blamed, it should be blamed.

Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).

Death Murphy’s Laws Problems Taxes

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
America Places Problems