Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 5)

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.

American comedian & motivational speaker

If you talk about yourself, he’ll think you’re boring; if you talk about others, he’ll think you’re a gossip; if you talk about him, he’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist.

Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner; tactics is getting her to drink it.

(1920 – 1998) English comedy writer, radio & television personality

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

(1880 – ?) American author

I'd go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian

My girlfriend and I almost didn't have the second date because on the first date I didn't open the car door for her… I just swam to the surface.

(1956 – ) American comedian

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older and the only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage.

(1970 – ) American film & television actress

Have you ever been dating anyone, and you think they're normal, and all of the sudden, they start freaking out on you?… yelling, 'Untie me!'

television writer, actor

My fiancé and I are having a little disagreement; what I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no-expense-spared reception; what he wants is to break off our engagement.


It’s not a date. We’re just agreeing to eat at the same table.

(1942 – ) American singer-songwriter, actress, writer, film producer & director

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.

comedian

I’m dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night; the only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

I used to go missing a lot – Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss Germany…

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host