Subject: Relationships » Dating (Page 2)

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian

They say that breaking up is hard to do – but it's much easier with a restraining order and a Rottweiler.

American actress

How To Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me; I know guys I wouldn’t go out with.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor

The major concrete achievement of the women's movement in the 1970s was the Dutch treat.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director

I’d like to start a family, but you have to have a date first.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend… I love this girl… I know I love her because she told me.

American actor & comedian

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman; still, I've got another three goes.


Incest: in many parts of the Bible Belt, the most popular form of dating.

American author

Courtship: A man pursuing a woman until she catches him.

Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night; the only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Employees make the best dates; you don’t have to pick them up and they’re always tax-deductible.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky; the woman already knows.

American comedian & writer

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

I don’t get what is so cool about dating DJ’s; that’s like dating a valet because he drives a nice car.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Why don't you come up and see me sometime, when I got nothing on but the radio?

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.