Subject: Sex (Page 17)

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Sex Women

When my old man wanted sex… my mother would show him a picture of me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Mothers Sex

Not nearly as exciting as it would be if I were acknowledged as one of the greatest lays in the world.

(1925 – 2006) American actress
Acting Entertainment Sex

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else’s position.

Marriage Sex

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education Sex Young

And most men seem to think ‘mutual orgasm’ is an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Men People Sex

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Fights Sex

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

How tall are you cowboy?
I’m six feet and seven inches, ma’am.
Let’s forget about the six feet and talk about your seven inches.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Sex

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

(1931 – ) American-born, British screenwriter, novelist & journalist
Insults Sex

The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys; I’m sorry, but if Christmas is coming – so am I.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Sex Things

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Alcohol Beer Communication Men Sex Speech

… geronomous zones and the floorplay, you spoil all the waddya call the mystiqueries of things.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Sex

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Self Sex

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.

(1900 – 1977) American novelist, essayist & autobiographer
Men People Sex Women

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on… just make sure the car door is closed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Autos Sex Situations Things

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Girls Life Sex

Sex with me when I'm really drunk is like being at the dentist… you can tell something's going on but you don't exactly know what it is.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex

If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex

My goal this year is to make love being naked.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Sex