Subject: Sex (Page 18)

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Husbands Marriage Sex

The average man thinks about sex every… what were we talking about?

(1964 – ) American comedian
Men People Sex

My mom always said, ‘Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Men People Sex

Agatha Christie has given more pleasure in bed than any other woman.


(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
People Sex

Love will find a lay.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Love Sex

My cousin is gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Places Sex

I told her the thing I loved most about her was her mind… because that's what told her to get into bed with me naked.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Intelligence Mind Sex

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Sex Situations

Losing my virginity was a career move.

(1958 – ) American singer, actress & entrepreneur
Sex Work

Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken.


Sex

Peggy: I want sex.

Al: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.

(1946 – ) American actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

We all know that every man's fantasy is to have a threesome… yeah, great… instead of one woman I can't satisfy, now I have two.

comedian
Sex

Martina was so far in the closet she was in danger of being a garment bag.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
People Sex

The reason people sweat is so they won't catch fire when making love.

(1934 – 2005) American radio personality
Sex

Sex is like death… only after death you don’t feel like a pizza.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Food/Drink Sex

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

Marriage Sex

I once knew a woman who offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her.

Sex Wordplay

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Sex Women

Right now, I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a fistful of pardons.

Sex Situations