Subject: Sex (Page 19)

They are a either a pain in the backside or too drunk to perform.

Amsterdam prostitutes’ spokeswoman
Sex Sports

It’s so annoying ‘cause it’s such a portable, good snack, but if you’re a girl and you want to eat a banana all of a sudden you’re in the position of like, how to I de-dick this delicious treat…?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Food/Drink Sex

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading; nobody does it so why talk about it?

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
England People Places Sex

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Characteristics Sex

It is not true that sex degrades women… if it is any good.

(1965 – ) English comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

It's so unfair because I go out of my way not to treat women like objects and end up having to treat objects like women.

stand-up comedian
People Sex Things Women

Sow wild oats

Sex

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Sex

I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Sex

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

There is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Sex Situations

I can still enjoy sex at 74; I live at 75, so it's no distance.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Age Emotions Sex

Raj: 60 seconds. This is not looking good.
Sheldon: One minute is a long time.
Howard: I’ve been telling women that for 20 years.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Contrary to the old wives' tale that bloody-minded trainers put around, a little love-in before the main event can do you more good than a rub-down with The Sporting Life.

English boxer
Boxing Sex Sports

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Body Fat Men People Sex Women

Oral contraceptive: The word "no."

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Communication Language Sex

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

Hey, don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers; perverted sex involves the whole duck.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Animals Sex

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health Sex Situations