Subject: Sports » Golf

Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore,’ shoot six, and write down five.

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Golf Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Once when I'd been in a lot of bunkers, my caddie told me he was getting blisters from raking so much.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at six o'clock and make it go toward twelve o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Sports

Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

sports commentator
Golf Misspokements Sports

The only really unplayable lie I can think of is when you're supposed to be playing golf and come home with lipstick on your collar.

(1929 – 2016) American golfer
Golf Sports

A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

It looks like he has a divot over each ear.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I played golf with a priest the other day. He shot par-par-par-par-par. Finally I said to him, "Father, if you're playing golf like this you haven't been saving many souls lately.”

(1912 – 2002) professional golfer
Golf Sports

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Golf Sports

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

(1949 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint… after 18 holes you’re tired and most of your balls are missing.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Golf Sports

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports World

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.

American professional golfer
Golf Science/Weather Sports

If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast… if God wants to play through, let him.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
God Golf Sports

Never putt until the cup stops moving.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Golf Sports

I spent $3 million on drink and $3 million on gambling, but I wasted the rest.

professional golfer
Golf Sports

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports