Subject: Sports (Page 119)

Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Sports

I'm not surprised. The referee is a fine Catholic fellow by the name of Patrick Murphy.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

I’ve never seen a guy on the DL [Disabled List] with pulled fat.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

And it’s a long drive down the line to centerfield.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

(After playing an exhibition game in Canada, Logan was surprised to learn that even the kids speak French.)

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good.

professional hockey coach
Hockey Misspokements Sports

Grass is for cows.

Czech tennis player
Sports

Golf is like love. One day you think you are too old and the next day you want to do it again.

Argentinian professional golfer
Golf Sports

They both (statistics & bikinis) show a lot, but not everything.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

From the way Denny’s shaking his head, he’s either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I’m not dropping a bar of soap in the shower near [kicker] Garo Yepremian.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Football Sports

When we played, World Series checks meant something; now all they do is screw up your taxes.

American baseball pitcher & announcer
Baseball Money Sports

Walk him and face the next guy.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

One rule I had was make your best pitch and back up third base; that relay might get away and you’ve got another shot at him.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

British politician
People Sports Time

You can talk to a fade but a hook won’t listen.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

At 19 miles, when most runners run out of steam and you hit what they call ‘the wall,’ is the exact moment you cross into the South Bronx; so here, they combine running and fleeing.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Exercise Places Sports

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

(1916 – 2008) American professional golfer
Golf Sports

We’ve got to find a way to win; I’m willing to start cheating.

professional football player
Misspokements Sports

We’ve lost our last eight matches. The only team that we have beaten is Western Samoa. It’s a good job we didn’t play the whole of Samoa!

Welsh rugby player
Misspokements Sports

He'll have a lot of fun. George will keep him in stitches.

boxing physician
Boxing Sports