Subject: Sports (Page 16)

A tie is like kissing your sister.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Sports

I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight.

wife of fighter Joe Bugner
Boxing Misspokements Sports

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
Education School Sports

You've got to think lucky; if you fall into a mud hole, check your back pocket – you might have caught a fish.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Situations Sports

You don't have to be a Harvard professor to manage baseball; in fact, I think you're better off having an IQ like mine.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Intelligence Sports

You'll pardon me gentlemen if I make the fight short. I have a train to catch.

Canadian boxer
Boxing Sports

The A's leave after this game for Cleveland. It was only by a 13-12 vote that they decided to go.

Oakland A's announcer
Baseball Places Sports

He opened his legs and showed us what he’s got.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

Give Chris a finger like I did and she’ll take the whole hand.

German professional tennis player
Sports

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Golf Sports

They are like hot air dryers in public lavatories. They are a good idea, but take too long.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Tell you what, you keep the salary and I'll keep me the cut.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

My wife made me a millionaire. Before she divorced me, I had three million.

professional hockey player
Divorce Hockey Marriage Misspokements Sports

I was so bad, I couldn’t have driven Miss Daisy home.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Tonight, we're honoring one of the all-time greats in baseball, Stan Musial; he's immoral.

professional baseball player
Malaprops Sports

The woods are full of long drivers.

American golf professional & coach
Golf Sports

The first guy who lays a finger on this blind old man is fined fifty bucks!

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

If the Cincinnati Reds were the first major league baseball team… who did they play?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Baseball Sports

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don't.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

Eating will now be an entirely new ball game. I might have to buy a new pair of trousers.

English jockey
Appearance Eating Sports

It is committee meetings, called huddles, separated by outburst of violence.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Football Sports