Subject: Sports (Page 16)

Vicodin and vodka — the breakfast of champions.

(1918 – 1990) football coach
Football Sports

There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Baseball Sports

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Sports

I don’t mind the high price of stardom, I just don’t like the high price of mediocrity.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Money Sports Success

The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb; to be a back, you only have to be dumb.

(1888 – 1931) American football player & coach
Football Intelligence Sports Stupidity

Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? … he went to prison for three years, not Princeton.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing Intelligence Sports

There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Fools Sports

That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats; after all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Yogi-isms

There are only two categories in cliff diving; there's 'Grand Champion' and 'Stuff on a Rock.'

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Activities Sports

Every time I see you naked I feel bad for your wife.

Czech hockey player
Appearance Body Hockey Sports

Larry Holmes didn't beat me — he just won the first 15 rounds.

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Sports

We are in the business of kicking butt and business is very, very good.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Sports

A fast body-contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.


(1897 – 1976) American novelist, short story & sports writer
Hockey Sports

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Aww, don't worry Doc, if that happens, I can always come back as a forward!

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Trying to throw a fastball by Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sun by a rooster.

(1929 – ) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

If I ever need a heart transplant, I want his [Bobby Knight’s]… it’s never been used.

American basketball coach
Basketball Sports

The only problem with doing the impossible is that everybody expects you to duplicate the impossible.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

I told Zollie Volchok [Sonics general manager] we needed an ultrasound machine and he asked me why we needed music in the locker room.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Entertainment Music Sports