Subject: Sports (Page 41)

In the Moscow Olympics Lasse Viren came in fifth and ran a champion’s race.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

You can’t think and hit the ball at the same time.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

I try to play golf at least once a day.

(1924 – 2012) American football player & coach
Football Golf Sports

I was the worst hitter ever; I never even broke a bat until last year when I was backing out of the garage.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Sports

One of the finest sights in the world: the other man's ball dropping in the water – preferably so that he can see it but cannot quite reach it and has therefore to leave it there, thus rendering himself so mad that he loses the next hole as well.

British golf writer & commentator
Golf Sports

I usually call the new guy and let him know where I like to sit on the bus, tell him ways he can stay out of my way, make sure he knows not to touch any of my stuff.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Situations Sports

Biologically, I'm 10; chronologically, I'm 33, but in hockey years, I'm 66.


Age Hockey Sports

I've got a tip on the market for you fellows, buy Pennsylvania Railroad – because by tomorrow night about a dozen of you bums will be riding on it.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Baseball has been good to me since I quit trying to play it.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position… he’s in last place.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

I used to play sports; then I realized you can buy trophies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Sports

When you’re older than the manager and the general manger, that’s not a good sign.

American baseball player
Age Baseball Sports

I believe in higher education… you know, 6'8", 6'9", 6'10."

Basketball Sports

Man blames most accidents on fate – but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one on the golf course.

Golf Sports

The older I get, the better I used to be.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
Age Golf Old Sports

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn’t float too well.

American professional golfer
Golf Sports

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one; it didn't come in until half-past five.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Activities Sports

The University of Texas has only two major sports… football and spring football.

University of Texas Public Information Officer
Football Sports

He’s listed as day to day, but, then again, aren’t we all?

(1956 – ) born Daniel Patrick Pugh, American sportscaster & radio personality
Sports

Giving Magic the basketball is like giving Hitler an army, Jesse James a gang, or Genghis Khan a horse.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Basketball Sports

If Lew could cook, I’d marry him.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports