Subject: Sports (Page 44)

They do a lot of talking, but I'm not sure they actually understand each other.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

The more self-centered and egotistical a guy is, the better ballplayer he's going to be. You take a team with twenty-five assholes and I'll show you a pennant. I'll show you the New York Yankees.

American baseball pitcher
Baseball Sports

It’s permanent, for now.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. 


(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Communication Golf Sports

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Baseball Old Sports

I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.

English professional boxer
Boxing Misspokements Sports

Mike's like a Gershwin or Beethoven. You go for the quality of the performance, not the longevity of it.

(1931 – ) American boxing promoter
Boxing Sports

That was a maximization of a minimization of hits.

professional baseball player
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'm just glad it wasn't machete night.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

It will now have to be called the Calcutta Shield.

Sports

Never was a man more aptly named.

Football Sports

I like to play in the low 70′s… if it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Heat Science/Weather Sports

Problem with [John] Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Here’s Wellwood, seven-and-oh in the faceoffs, plus-two, two assists, played 20 minutes, drew eight minutes on the power play, lost a tooth and a pint of blood. What a guy.

Canadian hockey player, coach & commentator
Hockey Sports

Dr. Beeper: I thought you’d be the man to beat this year.

Ty Webb: I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.

(1943 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Golf TV/Movie Quotes

There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Sports

The Bears aren't very genteel; some teams tend to remove the football from you, the Bears remove you from the football – it's much quicker.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Football Sports

Cricket needs brightening up a bit. My solution is to let the players drink at the beginning of the game, not after. It always works in our picnic matches.

Australian actor
Sports

It would have been worse if we hadn't blocked the kick after Toronto's second touchdown.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

John Daly's longer than Greg Norman… he’s even longer than War and Peace.

American sports columnist
Golf Sports