Subject: Sports (Page 46)

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

Detroit’s so bad this year they might lose their bye week.

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Football Sports

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

(1928 – ) Armenian American politician
Golf Government Sports

The pads don't keep you from getting hurt. They just keep you from getting killed.

American football player
Football Sports

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place… but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

The way to stop Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is to get real close to him and breathe on his goggles.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

It's almost like we have ESPN.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.

professional baseball player
Misspokements Sports

Sometimes Howard makes me wish I was a dog and he was a fireplug.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Insults Sports

That boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball Sports

Sean Avery’s got more tongue than a lumberjack’s boot.

Hockey Sports

If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron; not even God can hit a 1-iron.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer
God Golf Sports

Because this is a title fight, I can have four people in the corner and I'll have an extra cut-man. I'll also have an extra stool, one for Vinnie to sit on, and the other to throw at him if he doesn't listen to me.

(1922 – ) boxing trainer & manager
Boxing Sports

All of a sudden he’s hurt and I’ve got to get the popcorn out of my teeth.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

There are only two categories in cliff diving; there's 'Grand Champion' and 'Stuff on a Rock.'

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Activities Sports

My father looked at the check and then told the scout, 'Throw in another hundred and you can take the rest of the family.'

baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

If I didn’t enjoy gloating so much, I wouldn’t do so many interviews.

American football coach
Football Sports

I get worried when a guy goes down, in case he doesn't get up – for me to hit him again.

British boxer
Boxing Sports

Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.

Italian motor racing driver & entrepreneur
Auto racing Sports

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. 

professional hockey player
Baseball Sports

If officials called every penalty they saw, there would be no players on the ice and no one in the rink.

professional hockey referee
Hockey Sports