Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Sports
(Page 59)
The stopwatch has stopped. It's up to God and the referee now. The referee is Pat Horan. God is God.
Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh
Irish Gaelic games commentator
God
Sports
Gaelic football
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft; today it’s called golf.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Golf
Sports
Witchcraft
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
Casey Stengel
(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Baseball
People
Sports
Hate
Managers
The difference between the mile and the marathon is the difference between burning your fingers with a match and being slowly roasted over hot coals.
Hal Higdon
American author & runner
Sports
Marathons
Pain
Running
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball; I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
Henry Aaron
(1934 – ) American baseball player
Baseball
Golf
Sooner or later, the lame, the halt, and the blind all seek refuge with us.
Bill Veeck
(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball
Health
Sports
On the 1977 Chicago White Sox
First year, a .500 season – second year, a conference championship – third year, undefeated – fourth year, a national championship – and in the fifth year, we’ll be on probation, of course.
Paul 'Bear' Bryant
1913 – 1983) American college football coach
Football
Sports
Success
Outlining a five-year plan for success
Me and Jake LaMotta grew up in the same neighborhood. You wanna know how popular Jake was? When we played hide and seek, nobody ever looked for LaMotta.
Rocky Graziano
(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Boxing
People
Self
Sports
Jake LaMotta
Businessman: One who talks golf all morning at the office, and business all afternoon on the links.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Occupations
Businessman
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.
Doug Larson
(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Activities
Life
Sports
Fishing
In my sport the quick are too often listed among the dead.
Jackie Stewart
Scottish auto racer
Auto racing
Sports
There’s no crying in baseball!
Tom Hanks
(1956 – ) American movie actor
Baseball
Sports
TV/Movie Quotes
As Jimmy Dugan in “A League of Their Own”
Crying
My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.
Tommy Lasorda
Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Baseball
Sports
Hitting
Rocky Marciano stood out in boxing like a rose in a garbage dump.
Jimmy Cannon
(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Boxing
Sports
Rocky Marciano
Hockey is the original extreme sport.
Tom Ward
American hockey player
Hockey
Sports
Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.
Karl Mecklenburg
professional football player
Football
Misspokements
Sports
Before Super Bowl XXIV
Reporter to Brett Hull: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?
Hull: Shoe
Brett Hull
Canadian-born American hockey player
Hockey
Sports
I play my regulars; the only way a guy gets off the floor is if he dies.
Abe Lemons
(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Basketball
Sports
I never knew anybody who said they liked doubleheaders except Ernie Banks, and I think he was lying.
Mike Hargrove
professional baseball player & manager
Baseball
Sports
Doubleheaders
It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down.
Mario Andretti
(1940 – ) Italian-American auto racer
Auto racing
Sports
Brakes
The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
Bob Lemon
professional baseball player & manager
Baseball
Life
Sports
Pitching
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