Subject: Sports (Page 59)

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

(1953 – ) American baseball player
Situations Sports

It's like Christmas, except it's warmer.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

I got a guy who's short, stoop shouldered and balding with two left feet. They all look better than he does as far as the moves are concerned, but they don't look so good on the canvas.

American boxing trainer
Boxing Sports

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

Career highlights?… I had two; I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I hit him with body shots that would have brought down cities.

American boxing champion
Boxing Sports

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Sports

Throw strikes – home plate don't move.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports

We work in the toy department.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Communication Reading/Writing Sports

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.

professional basketball player
Basketball Misspokements Sports

A good ball club.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Baseball Sports Yogi-isms

It takes brains; it's not like forward, where you can get away with scoring and not play defense… on defense you have to be thinking.

American hockey player
Hockey Sports

Anglers think they are divining some primeval natural force by outwitting a fish, a creature that never even got out of the evolutionary starting gate.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Activities Animals Sports

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Family Fathers Golf Sports

He (Don Drysdale) talks very well for a guy who's had two fingers in his mouth all his life.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

If a caddie can help you, you don't know how to play golf.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Golf Sports

Really, there are none. We traded him for a 10th round pick in a nine-round draft.

professional hockey player
Hockey Sports

You hate to lose your teeth and the game, too.

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

Your financial cost can best be figured out when you realize that if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

No matter how strong the breeze when you leave the dock, once you have reached the furthest point from port the wind will die.

Murphy’s Laws Sports