Subject: Sports (Page 61)

Joe Bugner: Get me Jesus Christ and I'll fight him tomorrow!
Mcllvanney: Joe, you're only saying that because you know he's got bad hands.

(1934 – ) Scottish sports writer
Boxing Sports

A hot dog at the ballpark beats roast beef at the Ritz.

(1899 – 1957) film actor
Baseball Food/Drink Sports

If you watch a game, it’s fun; if you play it, it’s recreation; if you work at it, it’s golf.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Sports

I usually call the new guy and let him know where I like to sit on the bus, tell him ways he can stay out of my way, make sure he knows not to touch any of my stuff.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Situations Sports

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball People Sports

One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa.

(1958 – ) Irish professional golfer & commentator
Golf Sports

[He’s] the ultimate player-to-be-named-later.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Misspokements Sports

When Lew was a twenty game winner for the Milwaukee Braves, people needed three columns for his pitching record: won, lost and relative humidity.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter
Baseball Sports

It’s weird… people say they’re not like apes, but how do you explain football then?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Football Sports

Here’s Hodge on the breakaway! He’s all by himself. He shoots. And Hodge missed the goal! He’ll be thinking about that one for a while! Just look at the expression on Hodge’s stick!

Hockey Misspokements Sports

Every man’s life, liberty, and property are in danger when the Legislature is in session.

(1782 – 1852) American statesman, senator (Massachusetts) & writer
Football Government

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it's always in your face.

(1940 – ) professional golfer
Golf Old Science/Weather Sports

This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.

American sports executive
Activities Basketball Sports

I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball.

(1937 – ) football coach, sportscaster, author & speaker
Football Sports

If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Venezuela! Great, that's the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right?

American boxing promoter
Boxing Misspokements Places Sports

Trying to hit him is like trying to eat Jell-O® with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Davis fouls out to third in fair territory.

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Baseball Misspokements Sports

I'd have a better chance of catching flies with chopsticks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

It's almost like we have ESPN.

American basketball player
Basketball Sports

Say you were standing with one foot in the oven and the other foot in a bucket of ice; according to the percentage people, you should be about perfectly comfortable.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports