Subject: Sports (Page 90)

Watching a shootout is like admitting you watch  Survivor or search the internet for porn.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey Sports

You can't get rich sitting on the bench, but I'm giving it a try.

professional baseball player
Baseball Money Sports

Sometimes you think they must have come out of the chimp cages at the Bronx zoo.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Hockey Sports

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth; it is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports Success Wealth

Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix in 200 Meters

Headlines Sports

He’s on 90… 10 away from that mythical figure.

British sports commentator
Malaprops Sports

As a person gets older he doesn't get faster. Our quarterback will run from fright or lack of protection.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Football Sports

Oral sex should be an Olympic sport because it’s harder than curling, and if you’re good at it, you deserve a medal.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Sex Sports

They can say what they want, but playoff hockey is a whole other ballgame.

Hockey Misspokements Sports

Alain Prost is in a commanding second position.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Sports

There is no secret to running – run hard, have a beer, have a pizza. We make it too complicated.

New Zealand runner
Sports

[Coach Vince] Lombardi treats us all the same… like dogs.

professional football player
Football Sports

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital. 

Canadian hockey player
Hockey Sports

They wanted me to play third like Brooks (Robinson) so I did play like Brooks — Mel Brooks.

baseball player
Baseball Sports

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Age Golf Sports

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Sports

Baseball and malaria keep coming back.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Sports

The main quality a great third base coach must have is a fast runner.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Misspokements Sports

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

I don't order fries with my club sandwich.

Canadian hockey player
Body Hockey Sports

He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.

English sports commentator
Mixed metaphors Sports