Subject: Things » Autos (Page 8)

1. Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
2. You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
3. A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection.

Autos Driving Murphy’s Laws New York City Places

After large expenditures of federal, state, and county funds; after much confusion generated by detours and road blocks; after greatly annoying the surrounding population with noise, dust, and fumes – the previously existing traffic jam is relocated by one-half mile.

Autos Murphy’s Laws

I like handicapped men ’cause a handicapped man get a check and a good parking space.

(1971 – ) American comedian & actress
Autos Money People

I'm into carpooling, because sometimes my car gets hot and needs to refresh itself.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Autos Things

The last person to get across that town in under three hours was yelling, 'The British are coming! The British are coming!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Autos Places Things

You might be a redneck if… the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Autos Proverbs Things

I hate when people drive like me.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Autos Driving Situations Things

Good parking places are always on the other side of the street.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

I once locked my keys out of my car… I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Situations Things

I bought a perfect second car… a tow truck.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Things

To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Autos Men Things

There’s an unseen force which lets birds know when you’ve just washed your car.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

American entrepreneur & author
Autos Money Things

Traffic increases to fill the road space available.

Autos Murphy’s Laws Things

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Autos People Things Women

You think it's possible for them to design an electric car that doesn't look like a gay spaceship?

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Autos Things

I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things Work

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Autos Things

They think they can make fuel from horse manure…. now, I don’t know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it’s sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.

(1915 – 1959) American jazz singer & songwriter
Autos Things

The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Autos Places