Subject: Things (Page 17)

Interchangeable devices won't.

Murphy’s Laws Things

An antique is something that’s been useless so long it’s still in pretty good condition.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Things

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Things Wordplay

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Girls People Things Women

The best shots are generally attempted through the lens cap.

Murphy’s Laws Things

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included, so I had to buy them again.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things

Ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Things

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.

Murphy’s Laws Things

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language Reading/Writing Things

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Things

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
America Autos People

You always find something in the last place you look.

Murphy’s Laws Places Things

This summer I learned that there’s a difference between peeing in the pool and peeing into the pool.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Situations Things

Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier.

Autos Misspokements Situations Things

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Autos Things

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Definitions Places Things

Cars will not have intercourse in this bridge!

Autos Signs Translations

I have two rare photographs… one is Houdini locking his keys in his car; the other is Norman Rockwell beating up a child.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Things