Subject: Work (Page 18)

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Entertainment Film People Work

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

Politicians are always trying to convince you that they can solve the unemployment problem if you'll just give them a job.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government Politicians Work

Who says nothing is impossible?… some people do it every day!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Work

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

When a letter simply addressed to "Duffy the Dope" was delivered to me, I knew it was time to retire.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Communication People Self Work

Last week the candle factory burned down… everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Things Work

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Occupations Work

To protect your position, fire the fastest rising employees first.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations Work

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

The profession of a prostitute is the only career in which the maximum income is paid to the newest apprentice.

(1829 – 1912) British preacher who founded The Salvation Army
Occupations Work

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

(1933 – 1997) Anglo-French billionaire financier
Money Work

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Housework Work

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are always funny.

Work

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

How do you know if you've got a good mechanic? … by the size of his boat.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Occupations Work

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work