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Optimist: An anti-skeptic.

Definitions

Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.

Definitions

“Nobody has scored yet in the tennis game,” said Tom lovingly.

Tom Swifties

Patron: A customer who doesn't ask prices.

Definitions

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

… on hollowed ground

Malaprops

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

“We just struck oil!” Tom gushed.

Tom Swifties

“A spirit transported me from the couch to the chair,” said Tom, visibly moved.

Tom Swifties

Manners: Noises you don’t make when eating soup.

Definitions

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Health Malaprops

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider.

Expressions Food/Drink

“Where shall I plant these water lilies?” Tom pondered.

Tom Swifties

Life: A breathing spell.

Definitions Life

Conference: A meeting at which people talk about what they should already be doing.

Definitions

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Communication Language

Now the shoe is on the other horse!

Mixed metaphors

That's a hard bubble to crack.

Mixed metaphors

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

Clichés: Fixtures of speech.

Definitions Language