Author: Anonymous Page 121

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

“I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.

Tom Swifties

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Nymphomania: A disease where the patient enjoys being bedridden.

Definitions Sex

Alone… in bad company

Insults

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Parents: The one thing children wear out faster than shoes.

Definitions Family Parents

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

“I have been reading Voltaire,” Tom admitted candidly.

Tom Swifties

Chicken: An egg factory.

Animals Definitions

“I’ve paid my annual subscription,” Tom remembered.

Tom Swifties

“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.

Tom Swifties

It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.

Mixed metaphors

You could take that guy with a grain a salt.

Mixed metaphors

Farmer: The only man who can lose money every year, live well, educate his children, and then die rich.

Definitions

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.

Definitions Family Parents

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Age Children Family Travel

“I wrote the book on that subject”, said Tom authoritatively.

Tom Swifties

“I’m from Missouri,” Tom stated.

Tom Swifties