Author: Anonymous Page 129

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

That sure did take the steam out of his sails.

Misspokements

“I can see the Greek woodland deity is no more,” Tom said with a deadpan expression.

Tom Swifties

“No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas,” said Tom laconically.

Tom Swifties

Abstract Art: The proof that things are not as bad as they are painted to be.

Art Definitions Entertainment

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

“I love hot dogs,” said Tom with relish.

Tom Swifties

Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.

Sex

Grasping at the straw that broke the camel's back

Mixed metaphors

Charity begins at home… at about 6:30, when they call you and interrupt your dinner.

Characteristics

Fern: A plant that you’re supposed to water once a day, and when you don’t it dies, but if you do it dies anyway, only not so soon.

Definitions

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

There are lots of reasons to love a horse, sometime it's no more than the sweet little way he stepped on some asshole's foot.

Animals

Jesus loves him, but he is the only one.

Expressions

We need to look the 800-pound gorilla in the mouth

Mixed metaphors

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions