Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 129
“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Fat
Waist
Tolerance: Another word for indifference.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Tolerance
Hanging: A suspended sentence.
Anonymous
Definitions
Hanging
“Your fly is undone,” was Tom’s zippy rejoinder.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.
Anonymous
Definitions
Science/Weather
Psychology
Nursery: Bawl room.
Anonymous
Definitions
Nursery
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Anonymous
Death
Wills
Eccentric: A man too rich to be called crazy.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Eccentric
White Supremacists: The most convincing argument against the theory of white racial superiority.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
Intelligence
People
White Supremacists
Vice: A function to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.
Anonymous
Definitions
Vice
Virtue
Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.
Anonymous
People
Women
I won’t miss it one
aorta!
Anonymous
Malaprops
Iota
Epitaph: A monumental lie.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Epitaph
Thanks: A down payment on the next favor.
Anonymous
Definitions
Thanks
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last.
Anonymous
Sex
“Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers,” said Tom soothingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Slander
Ventriloquist: A man with a dummy who always talks to himself.
Anonymous
Definitions
Ventriloquist
Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Antique
Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.
Anonymous
Definitions
Imagination
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