Author: Anonymous Page 136

People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.

Situations

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

He’s still green behind the ears.

Mixed metaphors

Hell is a place where the motorists are French, the policemen are German, and the cooks are English.

England

“The jelly is 50% set”, Tom affirmed.

Tom Swifties

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

Remember, Rome wasn’t burned an a day.

Mixed metaphors

“Let’s eat kosher tonight,” said Tom judiciously.

Tom Swifties

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Beliefs Opinion

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Kill two cats with one bag.

Mixed metaphors

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Insults Intelligence

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

improvise

Tom Swifties

“I have those totals for you”, Tom added.

Tom Swifties

“Damn it, look at the camera!” Tom snapped.

Tom Swifties

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

The ambition of every small boy is to wash his mother’s ears.

Children Family

Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sixteenth Chapel.

Malaprops

“I haven’t had any tooth decay yet,” said Tom precariously.

Tom Swifties

He is so ugly… the psychiatrist makes him lie face down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly