Author: Anonymous Page 136

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

It's a long road to hoe

Malaprops

“Do you think I’m a dull person?” Tom asked bluntly.

Tom Swifties

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Collection: A church function in which many take but a passing interest.

Definitions

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

Frugal Money

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

Can’t act… slightly bald… also dances.

Acting Dance Entertainment

“Here’s the story of the Liberty Bell”, Tom told us appealingly.

Tom Swifties

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Communication Language

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Situations

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

My husband was chosen as a wheelbarrow for his friend's funeral.

Malaprops

Put your monkey where your mouth is.

Malaprops Money

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

Don’t cast swine before bears.

Mixed metaphors

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions