Author: Anonymous Page 21

“The vegetables are overcooked!” she steamed.

Tom Swifties

“This game is foul,” Tom groused.

Tom Swifties

Falsies: Making mountains out of molehills.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Chance: The pseudonym of God when he does not want to sign.

Definitions

Beauty: The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Appearance Definitions

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

Communication Wordplay

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

Definitions Health

Harder’n baptizing a cat.

Expressions

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

Antipathy: The sentiment inspired by one’s friend’s friend.

Definitions

Out of the mouths of babes come things parents never should have said.

Children Communication Family Speech

Heir Cut: Disinheritance.

Definitions

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Mixed metaphors

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

“I really don’t like tending the garden,” he said witheringly.

Tom Swifties

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

Consultant: Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can’t get a date.

Definitions

“I’m your mother’s brother’s father-in-law’s son,” Tom related.

Tom Swifties

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports