Author: Anonymous Page 26

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

Dog Kennel: A barking lot.

Animals Definitions Dogs

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Work

“I invested in a hi-tech startup,” Tom ventured.

Tom Swifties

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Beliefs Opinion

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

Television: A watching machine.

Entertainment Television

“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.

Tom Swifties

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

It's on the tip of my frontal lobotomy.

Mixed metaphors

Time may be a great healer, but’s it’s a lousy beautician.

Appearance Health Time

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.

Definitions Religion

“Sorry, what I said was a no-brainer?” asked Tom absentmindedly.

Tom Swifties

Time rolled up like a scroll, while the plague nibbled at the edges of their years.

Mixed metaphors