Author: Anonymous Page 30

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Government Intelligence Law

Toupée: Top secret.

Definitions

“The pool player from USC had to drop out because the proper equipment didn’t arrive on time,” Tom calculated.

Tom Swifties

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Conflict Killing

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Definitions

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Sports

Did you watch the space shovel take off?

Malaprops

“I’m halfway up a mountain,” Tom alleged.

Tom Swifties

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

I.T.: Customer Support without the common sense.

Definitions

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape; if it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40, if it moves and shouldn’t, use the tape.

Things

“I’m going window shopping,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

Cut the biblical cord.

Malaprops

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language